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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

Wrinkles don't hurt.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

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