GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
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Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
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Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
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Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
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Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
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Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
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The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
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Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
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