twitter twyndication http://twyndication.posterous.com Making YOU the talk of the Twitterverse posterous.com Sun, 31 May 2009 14:02:21 -0700 A RIDDLE THAT'LL KILL YOUR BRAIN! http://twyndication.posterous.com/a-riddle-thatll-kill-your-brain http://twyndication.posterous.com/a-riddle-thatll-kill-your-brain This is going to make you so MAD!

There are three words in the English language that end in "gry".
ONE is angry and the other is hungry.
Everyone knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for.
Everyone uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've given you the third word.
What is it? _______gry?

Send this to 5 People and the answer will pop up on the screen  automatically.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:58:13 -0700 Q: What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? http://twyndication.posterous.com/q-whats-the-difference-between-an-oral-and-a http://twyndication.posterous.com/q-whats-the-difference-between-an-oral-and-a A: The taste.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:56:46 -0700 PRICELESS! Louisiana Title Search http://twyndication.posterous.com/priceless-louisiana-title-search http://twyndication.posterous.com/priceless-louisiana-title-search New Orleans residents are challenged often with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, making it quite difficult to establish ownership.

Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client that I thought was absolutely priceless!!

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter): "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

(Actual letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana.
God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn
loan?"

The loan was approved.

IN GOD WE TRUST!

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:55:16 -0700 SUCCESS: http://twyndication.posterous.com/success-51 http://twyndication.posterous.com/success-51 At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Take the time to live!!!

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:54:30 -0700 THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: http://twyndication.posterous.com/the-four-stages-of-life http://twyndication.posterous.com/the-four-stages-of-life 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:51:24 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-5 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-5  Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:50:57 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-4 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-4 Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:50:39 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-3 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-3  It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:50:05 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-2 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-2 You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:49:26 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-1 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-1 When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:49:09 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-0 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old-0 Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:48:41 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-about-growing-old Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:47:16 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-4 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-4 Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:46:57 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-3 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-3 Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:46:21 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-2 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-2 Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:46:09 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-1 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-1 Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:45:17 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-0 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned-0 Wrinkles don't hurt.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:43:52 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-adults-have-learned Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:21:00 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-little-children-have-learne-8 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-little-children-have-learne-8

The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

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]]> Sun, 31 May 2009 13:20:00 -0700 GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-little-children-have-learne-7 http://twyndication.posterous.com/great-truths-that-little-children-have-learne-7

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

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